17 December 2009

Hypo-activity


JON: It would have been nice if my psychiatrist had turned out to be young, black and musical because then I could have titled this blog “shrink (w)rapping”. But he isn’t so I can’t, and it wasn’t a particularly good joke anyway – but hey, cut me some slack: I’m a sick man. At least both psychologist and psychiatrist agree that I have a pathological lack of drive, or as they say in shrink-speak “auto-motivation”.

What this means is that I don’t do things. That includes things I hate (like filling in tax forms) but also things I used to actively enjoy. I just sit there like a large lump of lard – sometimes with the TV on, most times with it off which is perhaps even more worrying. The psychiatrist was called in to advise on whether drugs could help get me out of this rut where psychology alone could not. He suggested two possible routes of action, Ritalin or Bupropinol.

Yes, Ritalin is known mainly as the drug of choice against ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactive disorder), and while admittedly my condition fits with the first two letters, no-one can accuse me of being hyperactive. But the psychiatrist explained that Ritalin works by focusing the mind and concentrating attention, which sounds just the ticket for me. Also, it has the advantage that it acts quite fast, so I would know in the course of just a few hours whether it is having the desired effect.

Bupropinol, on the other hand, is an anti-depressive used against apathy and suchlike – and, oddly, to help people stop smoking. Its action takes weeks rather than mere hours to appear, and since I (and Marie and the psychologist) don’t think I’m depressed, this seems a less attractive option. So after being sent home to think about the options, I have decided that I’m going for Ritalin first. Watch this space.

Actually, I’m not sure I’m 100% happy with being given the choice, On the plus side it gives the illusion of control, but the downside is that if there are side effects then it will be because I chose them. And since both drugs would be prescribed off-label (i.e. for a use other than that specified by the manufacturers) I suppose there could be unusual and unexpected side effects. Ho hum.

And another thing: today we get our third potential house buyer through the door. Marie had been cleaning and dusting and generally being hyper (should I offer her some of Ritalin?) and I’ve been cowering in a corner trying to read – rather a good book, as it turns out. It’s called Bad Science and with me the author Ben Goldacre is preaching to the converted – but he has fresh ammunition and some of the descriptions of the utter crap people are prepared to believe are . . . well, you have to see to believe it. The worst example is a teaching pack called ‘Brain Gym’ which is apparently used in UK schools and which teaches patent nonsense such as that processed food contains no water and that water held in the mouth hydrates the brain directly. Sadly, one is not allowed to shoot these purveyors of such garbage, and even if I got hold of a shotgun I’d probably miss because of the Parkinson’s.

1 comment:

eddie spaghetti said...

my husband had to eventually give back his badge and gun to the police force.