Work is never done

MARIE: I wonder if well people know just how much time it takes to look after an illness? I suspect many think that people like Jon, and by extension people like me, potter round aimlessly for hours on end, get exited by the arrival of the postman, and generally live in a perpetual state of benign boredom.

That’s about as close to the truth as creationism. Our alarm clock rings at 6:30 every morning for the first pills and the start of the day. Two days a week Jon goes to the Oak House all day, two days a week to physio – at noon, because that’s when he benefits most, but it does rather bugger up the day. The last weekday often goes on other appointments, like the GP (who must be quite tired of us by now) or neurologist or Parkinson’s nurse or foot lady or social worker or (soon) psychologist. And there’s the installation of the duodopa pump soon, with two days in hospital for the last tests later this month and a further two weeks later in the year.

I have to drive Jon everywhere, and everywhere is quite far away since we live in the middle of (beautiful, cheap) nothing. What with the language barrier and my innate curiosity, I usually hang around during appointments, rather than go off like a sensible person to do the shopping or whatever.

So the only concentrated time I have for “office stuff” is the two days Jon is at the Oak House. I have a to-do list as long as back in the good old days when I got paid for this sort of thing. My list this week included these little jobs, none of which would have been necessary were it not for Parkinson’s:

• call the hospital to follow up on Jon’s test appointment – it took most of an hour to get through, but I then had a very useful half hour chat with the Parkinson’s nurse
• chase up Jon’s escort service as we have heard nothing about concrete arrangements since he was approved for the service – that’s required several calls already, and I still haven’t managed to get through to the right person
• investigate rumours that a special Parkinson’s class is being planned by another local physio – after four abortive attempts I finally reached the right person, who confirmed the plans, but says nothing is certain yet, so she’ll call me when she knows more
• spend several hours visiting two nursing homes that are potential places to live and/or go for respite care, because we are new in the area and don’t know what the various places are like, and because it’s been recommended that we (or perhaps rather: I) scout them out well before we need them, so as to avoid much (di)stress later
• do a web search to jog my memory as to the name of my psychologist, and then call to make an appointment for Jon, who wants to see if she can help him with the stress reactions that regularly bugger up his speech in shops and on the phone
• most laborious of all: make a list of everything we own in the world (and that’s well fragmented, with our history of moving around and leaving bank accounts and small saving pots all over the place) and decide what belongs to who, in preparation for making a will that is both livable for me and fair to Jon’s children – that’ll take the best part of a day

So no, we don’t get to twiddle our thumbs much. I keep thinking that if we can just get this one big thing, and perhaps those three or four minor things, out of the way, then we can relax and start working on those thumb muscles. It just never happens, there’s always something new to deal with. Just like there is for everyone else. And I suppose we wouldn’t really have it any other way.