No news and good news

JON: A few weeks ago, I had a spot of masochistic fun. We got up ridiculously early and drove to Copenhagen where I had the delightful experience of a lumbar puncture. I’ve had one before so I know what I’m talking about when I say that this one was very professionally done. Although it involved me sitting rather inelegantly on a chair bent over to touch my toes (to separate my vertebrae and make room for a l-a-r-g-e needle), the doctor managed to make the procedure pain free by distracting me with old jokes and a bit of banter.

All was well, at least until I got in the car to go home, where to my modest surprise the anesthetic began to wear off and my back started to hurt. Only hurt a bit, though, just enough to give me something to complain about on the long drive.

We’ll probably not get the results until my next appointment in three weeks’ time – a clear case of no news being better than urgent news, as I’m sure I would have heard if they’d found little green men discussing Nietsche in my spinal fluid. We’re not entirely sure why I had the test in the first place, actually. When Marie asked what the neurologist is looking for, there was mumbling about ‘something something tau’ which means little to us or the internet. Oh well, if there’s anything to discover, you’ll hear it here first.

From the Dept. of Good News, section Relief, come glad tidings on my genetic status. The company http://www.23andme.com/ does genetic testing to determine whether you have an increased risk of developing a number of diseases, including Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. This costs money, but they have (had?) a special offer for Parkies who can get the testing done free, in return for answering numerous questions for research purposes about your medical history, your drink and drug habits, your favourite colour, etc. Free is a good price, so I applied (or rather, Marie applied pretending to be me). On my part, the most arduous task involved gobbing into a plastic tube for intercontinental dispatch.

My results came back recently and show NO increased genetic risk of either PD or Alz. That doesn’t make me move any better or think any quicker, but it does stop me fretting that I’ve passed on dud genes to my children and grandchildren. There will be dancing in the streets – or there would be if I could dance. Have I ever shown you my version of the moonwalk?