Put out to grass

JON: Although nothing has yet actually happened and no decisions have been made, we feel that we are making some progress on our house move. It’s a bit like the TV programme Escape to the Country: where we live now could be described as a large(ish) house in a faintly rural setting. The new house is bigger and is best described as being in the middle of nowhere at all. So rather than downsizing as most people do at this stage of their lives, we are out-sizing: bigger house, bigger distances, and (for me, at least) bigger trousers.

All this is very exciting right now, but at some point when the move is done and the excitement dies down, I’m going to have to find something to do with my time. I’m considering taking up fishing. It’s a “sport” where you can sit down and gaze into space whilst giving the impression that you are actually doing something. I have a pile of three books on fishing due to arrive from Amazon so I’ll soon be an expert fisherman (fisher person?).

I’m also told that the lawn in the new house will be my responsibility. The good part is that I’ll be using a ride-on mower which I’m sure will be fun for the first few mows. The bad part is that I have the attention span of a concussed gnat, and there is a lot of grass which will need weekly attention.

One excellent feature of the house is a large window looking out over a few fields to the sea beyond, bordered by small islands and full of little pleasure boats. I have decided to treat myself to a telescope as a housewarming present, and have already discovered that a decent one is not as expensive as I thought. Which is just as well since it appears ever more likely that we will buy the new house before we have sold the old one, so money might be tight for a bit. Just as well I am a man of simple tastes…