Alone but not lonely

JON: For reasons I don’t fully understand, Marie headed off to Denmark for a week or so. She muttered something about seeing clients, house hunting, sorting out a broken tooth and other non-important stuff. She took the car, which was a bad thing, but she also left me with a full fridge and careful instructions on how to use the washing machine, freezer, cat, etc.

So how did I cope, I hear you ask? Not too badly, I hear myself answer. I cooked, cleaned, and did a surprising amount of exercise. (Honest, I really did!) As to the cooking, it may not have been the healthiest diet but it tasted really, really good and I’m prepared to believe that a little of what you fancy does you good. And in my defense, I only had the one packet of chocolate digestives.

I have to admit that house cleaning is not my strong suit, but I cleaned the kitchen sink (minutes) before Marie came home, wiped up a spectacular display of cat vomit, and stacked all my papers into a single pile and hid them in my room. Most days I went for a walk in the woods and when it was raining I used the static bicycle (for about 1 hour a day, which is pretty heroic by my standards).

So on balance how did I cope with my enforced isolation? What did I achieve? Was I lonely? On the achievement front I think I can safely say that I managed to do virtually nothing, didn’t finish my new Terry Pratchett book, did very little sketching. Marie recently bought the full sets of Star Trek Next Generation, Voyager and DS9 on DVD (several hundred hours of viewing pleasure) but I resisted the temptation and will watch them one or two episodes at a time with Marie. Star Trek seems to me to be like drinking, fine if you do it in company, not so fine if you indulge alone.

Was I lonely? Well, no. I thought I might be, but writing the occasional e-mail, chatting with Marie on the phone most days and with a few others too in the course of the week fulfilled my needs for social interactions. Did I miss Marie? I have to admit that I did – and not only because she’ll be reading this, but also because the laundry needs doing (joke, honest!).

These 10 days I’ve spent alone have also provided a dry run for our planned move to Denmark, and very rural Denmark at that. Can I get all (okay, most) of my socializing done via the web? Yes, it seems I can. Would I be able to cope if something unexpected happened? Yes, it seems I would. Getting in and out of bed unaided is becoming difficult, but now that I have my grab pole I manage. Putting on socks and shoes may soon be beyond me, but my Crocs solve that little problem. All will be well.

In the dim and distant past when both brain and body were functioning normally – okay, normalish, if you insist – I would not have coped well with 10 days on my own. To fund my Ph.D. I did several locum jobs as a dentist, and in the evenings I would find a pub and usually strike up a conversation with the locals. Even if I did not manage a chat, I’d still have a pint and drink in the atmosphere (better that than breathing in the drink). If asked, I’d have claimed that anything is better than staying in a hotel room. But that was then. Now, a hotel room with room service, a big bath, air-con and a 100-channel satellite TV seems like bliss. As I’ve grown older I’ve come to like my own company more and more. I wonder if this is just a natural effect of ageing, is it the dreaded Parkinson’s, or am I perhaps simply a miserable old git at heart?

(PS: Do you really think I would take a photo of my bottom? Impossible, with my rigidity. Honestly, it's just a close-up of my thumb and index finger.)