Insomnia

As I said last week, I have been suffering from insomnia recently. It sounds such a trivial problem, not sleeping. All of us have stayed up way into the small hours for one reason or another – a party, travelling to a holiday destination, even just a midnight film – all good things and associated with fun. But insomnia is very different: lying in the dark with your mind left to roam, and knowing that the hours until it’s time to get up are ticking away without you getting any rest. It gets really horrible when my drug-induced distortions of reality come calling. Marie found it hard to keep a straight face when I told her about my night-time episode smearing shaving cream into my hair, but from where I’m standing (sitting, slumping) it’s not actually that great waking up with head and pillow coated in goo. Last night, at least, my spill-over from dream to reality was calmer and more pleasant in that I got a visit from one of my favourite authors, Terry Pratchett – though unfortunately he couldn’t work out how to get up the stairs and I couldn’t get down them, so we never had a chance to talk. I’d have liked a chat about his Alz and my Parky, though. Anyway, if you read the blog last week, then you know all about it – I just didn't want anyone thinking it had gone away. I still feel grim before taking pills and a bit better after, but the difference ain’t as great as I would like.

The other issue I talked about in the last blog was my worry that I could no longer program. Well it turns out I can, it’s just my typing that’s full of errors, plus being given the wrong information about the job to start with didn’t help none. A simple human mistake that in a previous life I might have forgiven after a few scathing remarks. Now, though, I shall plan his painful demise in my copious (nocturnal) free time. But seriously, I think I'm getting slower on the keyboard – stiff, slow fingers mean maybe it’s time to cut down to two-finger typing. I spent some time this weekend rearranging my study so I now have mice in stereo. I seem to favour the left for now – time will tell if I have truly become left-handed (I was right-handed before PD struck).

So what else is new? Well, t’was hot as Hades last night which didn’t help my sleeping, so I got up at 5 am and had two breakfasts (am turning into a Hobbit: breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, etc. – I feel my feet getting hairier as my belly expands). Tonight is guinea fowl, orange sauce and roast veg followed by a glass of ‘stuff’ made with vanilla yoghurt and strawberries straight from the garden. Cooking gives Marie something to do (in between writing two books, setting up a business and holding down a small day job), and anyway it’s food like this that helps makes life worth living (even with PD).